New podcast is happening at iTunes, Soundcloud, and other podcast platforms. Click the image above (or the little cloud-looking or microphone-thingy underneath the contact link.) No really. Go click it right now.

New podcast is happening at iTunes, Soundcloud, and other podcast platforms. Click the image above (or the little cloud-looking or microphone-thingy underneath the contact link.) No really. Go click it right now.

Note to a Friend

I encourage young people to be patient with their sexuality. (Old people too!) There’s really no great reason to come out of the closet too early. For one thing, you may be surprised at how life changes, at how your body changes, and how your thinking changes as you journey through all that comes your way. So, I want to say, there’s no rush to label yourself as anything, other than a child of God. Find a safe place to figure it out. 

On the other hand, please don’t take this as a way for someone in my position to stir up guilt, and keep you closeted. Good Lord, no! A closeted world serves no one (except the spirit of shame and accusation). We are in desperate need of truth, light, and life, all things that wind up being mitigated in a closeted world. Truth needs daylight, and daylight needs truth. We are born into a world in which we are conditioned to desire what others desire. (Yes, mimetic rivalry from a would-be mentor, Rene Girard) Churches, the place where this could all be different, are no exception. It’s in churches, sometimes more than anywhere else, we find performance, rather than authenticity rewarded. Please know, stuff always winds up being closeted in performance-based environments. So, sometimes you have to work extra hard in a church setting to overcome the fear of honesty, and vulnerability. I have often thought that James’s admonition to, “confess your sins to others, pray, and be healed…” was as much about the confession as the sin. The unwillingness to confess is the sin! Maybe what you are involved with, doing, participating in, thinking about isn’t even a sin? (Who knows? First, we need to define what sin is.) Perhaps the sin is the refusal to enter into community and admit you have struggles, but then again, how could I blame you? As I have said, churches are often terrible at modeling confession, which leads to a lot of closets. (Lord hasten the day when all the closets are burst open.) 

I believe truth will set you free. Unfortunately, first, it may be painful. Please work at finding a loving community who will support you in the pain no matter what. (By the way, I’m a part of a church that will support you. So, you got that going for you.)

Hatred Refuses to be Wrong

There is Only Love